Ways to Stay Connected with Your Spouse
So you find the love of your life, added to your family, the seasons go by, and life happens. This is common with marriages and long-term relationships, but what do you do when you realize you have not given your significant other the best version of yourself? What do you do when your love languages are entirely different? Here are a few tips for staying connected with your spouse.
Date Night
Have you ever heard the saying, “What you did to get them is what you should do to keep them?” I have to agree. As time passes with relationships, sometimes, we can become complacent. We may have started coming to bed with lingerie, but at some point, that turned into oversized t-shirts. I am definitely guilty of this. When this happens, notice it and adjust. Date nights are a great way to stay connected. Work, school, schedules, children, and tiredness significantly affect your energy when you get home. Make it a point to date your spouse. Make them a nice kid-free dinner, catch a movie, walk together, or grab a drink alone. Reconnecting without distractions makes a huge difference.
Weekly Check-ins
Every Sunday evening, my husband and I have a husband-and-wife weekly check-in. We take the time to review important events for the week, dinner options for the family, scheduling conflicts, etc. This keeps us on track with each other and is a great way to ensure we are always on the same page. Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries can also be discussed during this time.
Communicate Feelings
Let’s be honest. We love our spouses dearly, but sometimes we do not like what they do, and they don’t like what we do. That is just a fact. We have different personalities and do things differently. Communicate with your spouse when you feel a certain way about a situation. As much as we think they are mind readers, they are not. Also, remember to use “I” statements when sharing how you feel, as it shows ownership. Whenever you receive a response, do not dismiss the way they feel, as they have feelings too. Healthy communication is essential; the last thing we need is strife.
Reflect
Remind yourself why you are with your spouse. Say “I love you” just because, ask if you can do the laundry or dishes for them, randomly bring them flowers or cook their favorite meal, or look through your phone at pictures of you both, and go down memory lane. Thinking about our memories can elicit many positive functions for oneself. Reflecting on people, events, or situations opens us up to savor those experiences. It also stimulates other beneficial outcomes, such as: engaging in self-reflection to give meaning to one’s life.
